To all of you...

There’s a million things I want to say to you

but even more that I can’t.

I want to tell you I still love you,

that you still haunt my dreams at night.

Sometimes I wake up sweating, scared,

and roll over and expect you to be there…

but you’re not, and you never will be again.

There’s a million things I want to fix for you

but so many of them are out of my hands.

I see you stagnant in your life;

not happy but too scared to move forward.

I see you as I look back over my shoulder

because I refuse to let you hold me back with you.

There’s a million things I want to do for you,

but I know you have to do it on your own.

I hate watching you struggle,

yet I know you’ll always make it through.

Your dreams are so big, and I’m scared

that in this case, I’m the one holding you back.

I’ll never forgive myself if it’s true.

There’s a million things I want to save you from.

Drugs, alcohol, sex- pick your poison

You want it all, so you’re trying it all.

I wish you knew how much I still cared,

and that it would make a difference.

There’s a million things I would like to show you.

That you have options, you’re not stuck.

That there is more out there then the guy who doesn’t want you,

or tells you he loves you, but doesn’t know the meaning of the word.

There’s a million things I want to do for all of you

but in the end I have to do it for me.