Romeo and Juliet Revised

We could have been a love story;

as great as Romeo and Juliet [without the suicide,

naturally] Instead you chose to lie, steal, and cheat me.

So let’s pretend, just for a moment,

that we did turn out like them.

This time however, when Juliet wakes,

from her poisoned sleep,

To find Romeo in a pool of his own blood;

relief floods her body, not dread.

A weight lifts off her shoulders, and she knows no pain.

She is free! Free from a life tied to a man

she may have loved [she’s not really sure, it all happened

so fast] but in time she may have grown to hate.

T.S. Eliot Reading The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock

To Love...Sincerely, Me

Well, hello!

Is that you there?

Hiding on your own?

Why don’t you come out and shake my hand,

better yet, give me a hug?

It’s been so long since you’ve shown your face around here.

You’ve been missed sorely dear.

It seemed so cold and lonely when you were away.

Yet, I never noticed the warmth before you left.

Its funny how that happens, isn’t it?

You never know what you’re missing,

till it leaves you standing, wondering

where you went wrong.

But you’ve come back, and I do hope it’s to stay,

I swear I’ll realize what I have this time,

I won’t take advantage; at least I’ll try not to.

Please love, give me another chance,

to treat you right, to cherish you.

You deserve everything I have to give,

I was selfish last time you came my way.

I’ve changed I promise.

One Day

One day, I hope I can look back on everything I’ve done

and smile.

Regret is a word I've heard;

not one I know the meaning of,

 and hope I never will find it out.

One day, I hope everything works out

for the better.

Mistakes are something I know I’ve made,

but each one has brought a new beginning;

it’s just a matter of finding the beginning I carry out

to become an end.

One day, I hope I can find that greater meaning

in life.

Clarity is something I search for

but it eludes me. I know I’ll find it,

I just want the day that I do to come;

sooner rather than later.

One day, I hope I wake up and think

“Life’s perfect.”

To all of you...

There’s a million things I want to say to you

but even more that I can’t.

I want to tell you I still love you,

that you still haunt my dreams at night.

Sometimes I wake up sweating, scared,

and roll over and expect you to be there…

but you’re not, and you never will be again.

There’s a million things I want to fix for you

but so many of them are out of my hands.

I see you stagnant in your life;

not happy but too scared to move forward.

I see you as I look back over my shoulder

because I refuse to let you hold me back with you.

There’s a million things I want to do for you,

but I know you have to do it on your own.

I hate watching you struggle,

yet I know you’ll always make it through.

Your dreams are so big, and I’m scared

that in this case, I’m the one holding you back.

I’ll never forgive myself if it’s true.

There’s a million things I want to save you from.

Drugs, alcohol, sex- pick your poison

You want it all, so you’re trying it all.

I wish you knew how much I still cared,

and that it would make a difference.

There’s a million things I would like to show you.

That you have options, you’re not stuck.

That there is more out there then the guy who doesn’t want you,

or tells you he loves you, but doesn’t know the meaning of the word.

There’s a million things I want to do for all of you

but in the end I have to do it for me. 

Find My Way Home

Put me on a city street.

Patches of light, like little moons, on sidewalks glow,

safely closed into their own little box;

only coming out when the sun goes to bed.

My feet will find their way,

despite the temptation to jump

from moon to moon, and get lost in this patchwork

of streets in a place that never sleeps.

I am determined never to be lost,

because I am never far from home-

and home is calling with every wave that crashes on the shore,

and with every grain of sand that washes away

a little of my heart is carried out to sea.

Missing You

I don’t miss you.

The way you judged me, laughed at my dreams.

The way you belittled me, made me feel worthless.

I don’t miss the fighting,

the crying and spending nights wondering where you were;

hoping you’d come home.

I don’t miss your drunken rants,

your control over me.

I miss the nights we spent,

in bed, needing nothing but the two of us.

I miss having someone to hold me when I cry,

celebrate with me when I’m happy,

and do nothing with me when it’s just that kind of day.

I miss waking up next to someone every morning,

and hearing “I love you” right before I fall asleep.

I miss sleeping in the safety of someone’s arms,

where nothing could ever touch me.

But most of all I just miss knowing that someone was there.

No matter when or why, if I needed you-

You were there.

That’s what I miss, 

but we’ll never go back to that.

You’re not the person I knew and loved

and one day I hope you can reclaim him.

The Paradise of Strangers

“The Paradise of Strangers”

Eyes lock across a crowded room,

Glance broken by a passerby,

as hope forms in her heart.

A life flashes before her eyes,

Their first date, romantic and candle lit

followed by a walk on the warm sand.

The proposal, him nervously kneeling in front of her

Praying she’ll say yes.

The wedding, her beautiful white gown

him carrying her into the honey moon suite.

The starter home with a white picket fence

and a puppy bouncing around the yard.

The nights of unbridled, passionate love making

That eventually lead to-

A pregnancy, 9 month of discomfort to bring about:

their first child, a boy.

Naturally followed by another, a girl.

The perfect family, she can see herself:

waving the kids off to school,

making them snacks,

listening to their days,

having dinner on the table,

waiting till he gets home

smiling at the sound of his car in the drive way

and his classic “Honey, I’m home!” from the foyer.

She watches them send their children off to college,

Harvard and Yale, only the best.

Him holding her as she cries, sad to see her babies go.

The empty nest, where she has time to rediscover herself,

becomes full again with his retirement,

and the children coming home for the summers.

She imagines their children’s weddings,

the grand kids.

Growing old together,

watching the sunset from the porch swing,

arms around each other,

still as in love as the day they got married.

He comes back into view,

a girl walks up and kisses him on the cheek,

the engagement ring glinting in the dim bar light.

Ah, the paradise of being strangers!

Where possibilities are endless,

and heart break is only in your imagination.

How to Break a Heart: An Instructional Poem

How to break a heart: An instructional poem.

It’s very easy you see,

First you bat your eyes,

and give a shy little smile.

Tell a few white lies,

and just wait a while.

Play your cards right,

they’ll quickly be hooked.

They’ll call every night,

come running with just one look.

When this happens its time,

you’ll know when.

Dig a little deeper see what you can find

get some dirt and then.

Use it as black mail,

to get them to bend to your will.

If you’ve done it right, they’ll

be hooked on you still.

They’ll give you whatever you want,

and this becomes quite a bore

So it’s time to end this taunt,

And let them go, or;

you can keep them hanging on

and have others on the side.

You know you’ve really won,

if they stay on for the ride.

Eventually you must,

end things with this boy.

If he leaves first it just

ruins the joy.

The satisfaction in heart breaking

is one in its own.

Especially if they make their aching

publically known.

So be without pity,

when playing with hearts.

Just know that you’re pretty,

and always be smart.

When it rains, it pours.

Possibly to be continued...I'll have to revisit it

When it rains, it pours.

The acid strips away skin,

baring souls to the world:

the lonely, the desperate,

the heart broken, the hopeful.

They cannot hide their pain, joy, sorrow.

They are an open book,

for the world to read,

whether they want it that way or not.

Strangers passing can feel the heat of their emotions,

it draws them in; roots them to the ground.

They become one in love, lust, anger.

Wrapped so deep they forget who belongs to

the fear, envy, suffering.

Waiting

I stood there,

arms held high, ready to embrace.

Waiting,

for you to come back to me.

I watched the leaves change-

arms slowly dropping with every one that hit the ground.

Waiting,

for you to come back to me.

Then the cold came.

Still I stood,

statuesque,

feet frozen to the ground.

Waiting,

for you to come back to me.

The sun beat down on me.

Thawed my body with the blooming spring,

opened my heart as the crocuses peeked through the greening grass.

I drop my stiffened arms,

pry my feet from their icy trap, and

turn my face towards the sun.

It sinks below the trees,

the sky alight with purples, pinks, and oranges.

The spring air is refreshing.

and I am no longer

Waiting,

for you to come back to me.

There's Only Up from Here

Lying in a pool of blood,

life having kicked you in the teeth,

addiction rules everything,

whether it’s-

Love, lust, drugs, or alcohol.

Glancing up from you’re insignificant position,

the rain drops start to fall,

swirling with your blood.

You watch the patterns form

think to yourself, with false hope,

there's only up from here.

The First Page

The blank page stares at me.

Crisp. Clean.

Taunting with its perfection

whispering, "Put your pen to me.

Mar my surface with your impure thoughts.

Your failed attempts at imagery, to be deep,

meaningful. Scribble your life away!

Keep trying to find the perfect words, but only being able to

WRITE. CROSS OUT. WRITE

Cover me with your blasphemous ideals,

your inadequacy, your pain.

Write what ever you will across this first page,

because the first time is always the hardest.

Once you get past me, possibilities are endless."

I glance down, after too many wrong words,

only 3 remain

I Loved You...

I smile, close the book, my journey can begin another day.

The first page is always the hardest.

Now that I've conquered it, I can do anything.

Stay

I want to be able to love again:

To rush blindly into the arms of another,

to look at the future and not see an end,

and to find someone who makes me stronger.

Yet every day, I wake alone,

and push away ones who try to come near.

A side of me I’ve never shown

is hidden by my deepest fear.

You tell me that you’ll stay,

but I know you’ll leave.

So, for the moment, we’ll just lay

and I’ll try to believe

that you’ll still be there when morning dawns,

limbs tangled with the silky sheets.

In my heart, you’re already gone.

I’ve already accepted defeat.

After a prompt "What good is a day..."

So it's kind of corny and I'm not sure how I feel about this one...

What good is a day if you can’t spend it,

With your favorite book, a hot cup of coffee

A slow burning cigarette,

watching the smoke as it curls upward getting lost in the sun.

What good is a day if you can’t spend it.

Sweat dripping down your face,

You lick your lips and taste the salt.

Feel your skin sticking to each other,

Curves of your body perfectly matched.

What good is a day if you can’t spend it

in bed, curled up with the love of your life,

Talking nonsense

Lost among the pillows and in each other’s eyes.

What good is a day?

A Toast to My Best Friend

So my best friend and I have a wine night at least once a week, and we always start out with a toast. Something little most of the time, like a toast to finding new boys well here's my toast to her: I figured it was appropriate to make it my first post because she's the one who has told me repeatedly to start writing again.

Here’s to the days we’ll never forget,

And the nights we struggle to remember.

To the people who we’ve lost, to those who have lost us,

And those we’ve yet to find.

To the memories we have,

And the ones we’re about to make.

To dancing in the living room,

And long talks in the kitchen,

And never being embarrassed to say what you feel.

Here’s to crying on each other’s shoulders,

Or laughing till we cry- whichever you choose.

Here’s to finding the one but really only needing

Each other.